“Don’t let your daughter go through this. “In fairness, I was a bad Christian because I never fully bought into it all which again made me feel guilty.” I felt like I was a bad Christian and therefore a bad person.” “Even into early adulthood, I would feel terrible about myself when I would question things. Anytime my boyfriend and I went a little too far physically it felt like he was blaming me for tempting him.” “So much so that my self-esteem plummeted and I ended up in really terrible relationships with problematic power dynamics. “I was always the one kid to question the double standards between the boys and the girls but they always made me feel like I was basically worshipping Satan if I questioned what they were teaching.” “All of the purity classes, camps, sermons, and dances I was forced to go to in middle and high school did a real number on me.” “Southern baptist survivor here! Please stick to your guns on this one.” One Redditor confirmed purity balls can be harmful to young women. “The only reason I could be the a**hole is I unilaterally decided against my husband’s input, and I think Tess will be disappointed.” “MIL sent back her usual stuff implying that I’m a-hole who led her son down a bad road and I’m an unfit mother.” “She said not yet, and I made clear I wouldn’t allow it. “I put my foot down and texted MIL to ask if she’d signed Tess up.” The OP reached out to her mother-in-law about it. “My husband claims that he wasn’t trying to hide it from me and that he thought I knew, given how popular the purity ball is at their church.” “I thought we were on the same page about those topics, but he thinks it’s just a ‘fun thing for girls to do and get dressed up’.” “I started blowing my top, to be honest, and I informed him that ‘purity’ ideals are bad for girls.” “He said my SIL had done it in middle school and it was just a fun thing and not a big deal.” “Eventually, I gathered that he was talking about an annual purity ball for the 10-14-year-old girls.” My spider senses were tingling so I pulled him aside to the back porch.” “I asked him how would affect that, and he didn’t know. “He gave me kind of a shady look and said that the girls’ Sunday school class was having a dance this June.” “Then, my husband chimed in to remind Tess that ‘the budget is $50.’ I was super confused and asked him what was up.” I thought she was playing an imagination game, so I just nodded along.” “Last week, Tess came home chattering about the ‘ball,’ and how MIL is going to take her shopping at a fancy shopping center in our town.

Then her daughter came home talking about something she really didn’t agree with. She also Zooms into a girls’ Sunday school group after the service.” Tess still goes over to MIL’s place and helps her set up the laptop for them to watch together. “Well, because of the virus, services have gone online. Plus, it gives us adult time on Sundays.” I don’t love that, as I’m not a religious person and my MIL is an aggressive Baptist, but my husband thinks it’s a good bonding activity and so I don’t complain. “My daughter Tess (9) has gone to church with MIL periodically since she was little. “I’ve posted here before about my MIL, and now I’m back with another issue.” The OP compromised on something she didn’t totally agree with. “AITA for not allowing my MIL to sign my daughter up for a ‘purity ball’ at her church?” Redditor ashley-indigo shared how their differing views had impacted her parenting and her marriage more than once.īut the Original Poster (OP) still wanted to confirm she wasn’t in the wrong on this one. Take this woman, for instance, who has been struggling against her mother-in-law (MIL) for a long time on the “ Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit. Sure, some of them are great, but we see stories all the time, all across the internet, of mothers-in-law who overstep, meddle and generally think their way is the best way. Mothers-in-law can be a real hoot, can’t they?

Purity ball